Nobody wants to talk about it upfront but I sincerely think we should. Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions that we’d ever make in our lives , then why must we not do it wisely ?
Suggestions from a young lady like myself won’t seem look like the gospel truth but trust me I have got tons of weightage in my words, therefore you must pay attention!
Both sexes follow a series of experiences and incidents before they find the one where it just feels right to be together for the rest of their lives both practically as well as emotionally.
But the important question is what makes you two fit together , what is that , that you are looking for ?
Alessandra Torre, an award winning American novilist once quoted in her book ‘Blindfolded Innocence’
“Both people need to care deeply about the other person, to put the other’s needs before their own, and to make a daily commitment to that person to stick it out.”
And I couldn’t agree more ! Basing my judgment on the same, here are a few pointers that essentially form the cornerstones of successful relationships.
1. Free from All Judgement – Who are we to judge anybody ? And if you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, then you can’t have it with someone who constantly judges you for everything that you do. Therefore open-mindedness towards each other’s thoughts and acts is very important as far as they don’t hurt your relationship in any manner.
2. Honestly – Second comes honesty, sounds cliché but you can’t build a castle over uneven grounds and the same holds true for relationships. You have got to be honest with your partner, even the tiniest of details matter. Lying is one thing that scums every relationship to the ground. And if your partners does that to you , think not for a second before calling it off. Once a liar is always a liar.
3. Gratification and Appreciation – You want someone who constantly gratifies and appreciates you , provided you do the same for them. Everyone needs it now and then and so would you. Not only does it create a sense of positive eulogy between the two of you but it would also help you grow together and manifest life’s bigger challenges together as a team.
4. Give Space – Everyone needs it , nobody likes to be constantly around people, it blocks your inner energy. That doesn’t mean it would leave you separated from the other. Some space is only to make you a better person and for you to introspect on a daily basis and help each other be the best for one another. Therefore it’s important to be with someone who respects your space and doesn’t constantly seek your attention.
5. Respect One Another – Just cause you are head over heels in love with your partner doesn’t give him/her the right to disrespect you. Respecting each other should come naturally, it’s shouldn’t be forced down upon you like one of the commandments.
6. Care and Empathize – If you see a future with someone it’s quintessential that they care about you and your feelings and about the people who you consider close to you. They should be able to empathize with your needs , fears , thoughts and your persona as a person.
7. Laughter is Must – That’s not new for anyone ! Trust me it’s a must because looks won’t last a lifetime , but a good sense of humour sure would. You don’t want to be with someone whom you can’t be your crazy self with. So hold onto someone who cracks you up every now and then.
8. Sincerity and Responsibility – Both these elements form the basis of a lasting relationship. Both of you should be sincere and responsible towards one another. You should be there for each other in the time of grief, happiness , success et al. Quit bailing on you partner during the hour of need.
9. Be a Team and Help Each Other Grow – It’s really important for each partner to help the other one grow , to push them forward , understand them. Relationships flow from both the directions , it’s a two-way traffic! Therefore encouragement has to come from both the sides, you can’t have one partner pushing the other one constantly only to find himself/herself down to ashes by the end of it with zero reciprocation in return. Therefore be a team and grow together, invest in one another . Remember it’s a partnership and not an individualship (if that is a word). There must be a holistic growth among the two of you and only then would you both prosper happily without any baggage to deal with.
10. Selflessness and Zero Scope for Competition – Selflessness is the key to all healthy relationships. Do everything that you’d do for your partner out of sheer love and never for the reason of getting an upper hand in your next argument. Don’t compete with each other on the pretext of “I did this” and “I did that” ! If you did it out of love, you won’t have to validate it, it would shine right through you. Couples start to compete with each other on the small little tasks of everyday life and what could be a pleasant union turns out to be a series of debatable issues.
This was the long and short of my version on anatomy of relationships ! I hope you all loved reading it as much as I loved penning it down ❤
Lastly, always remember good relationships don’t just happen, they take time, patience and two people’s undying commitment toward one another. Morever, if someone truly cares, they would take out time to understand you and make an effort !
May you all have a good night 🙂
Until next time, stay tuned for more x. !!